FLUSHING CONTACTS and SEEING THE LIGHT
I’ve been wearing glasses since I was 18 months old; I don’t and will never qualify for laser surgery; and since I started wearing them at age 12, my contact lenses have always been vital to every component of my waking life, not least because I actually see better in them than in glasses.
One night a number of years ago, after an 18-hour workday mostly on my feet at my then-company Uplift, I was back home and standing at my bathroom sink, the cold tiles refreshing against my bare toes, about to remove said contacts from my very dry eyes.
I always know when it’s time to swap my current contacts out for a new pair from my six-pack of lenses because everything becomes blurrier, and I become grumpier, but I’d had to wait much longer than normal to do so this time: I only had one precious new pair left, and didn’t have the money to shell out for more - my contacts are crazy expensive due to my complicated prescription, and sometimes I had to make them last far beyond their expiration date.
That night, thinking contentedly about the clarity I’d have the next morning - seeing the world through brand new eyes, or at least lenses - I pulled out the storage case, opened it, and ran it under piping hot water like I usually do.
I looked down and my heart stopped in horror. Before I could catch them, the brand new contacts washed right down the drain: I’d forgotten that I already transferred them from their package into the case early that morning, and set another case out to use for the old contacts…which that night I just somehow didn’t see.
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Right around the time of contacts-gate, I was in the midst of building Uplift, I was broke, I was utterly exhausted in every way, and I was feeling really lost, even if on paper I looked like I was kicking ass.
Also, for the first time ever, I think I was subconsciously looking for a man to come along and “save” me.
I found the exact opposite: the worst person on the planet, a gaslighting non-partner, only compounding the anxiety by then I’d started to feel every second.
And here’s where that relationship reminds me of flushing my brand new contacts down the drain:
→ The new contacts were something I thought I needed to literally see things more clearly.
→ With the toxic ex, I thought I needed him take care of things for me, to take care of me. I looked to him, this very smart, very successful/entrepreneurial/wealthy, very charismatic person, to show me the way, in basically every way.
Spoiler alert: he did not at all take care of me, in any way, and in needing that from him, I became a shell of myself.
I’m not sure if it’s because I had to wear only my glasses for a while until I could afford new contacts again, but suddenly I started to see things in a new light, dumped his ass, and saved myself.
What I learned from that is that it’s never the job we must get, the Prince Charming we must meet, the marquee degree we must pay for - i.e., it’s never the outside thing - that’s the catalyst for change and transformation.
“Saving” ourselves starts way before any of that and goes far beyond any of that. And it starts simply, with seeing things in a different way, from my perspective. Then taking little steps in a new direction. One small step for (wo)man…
***
I can see clearly now…and I can help you do the same, whether it’s in the form of 1:1 or small group business/career coaching or consulting for your company. Reach out to see if we’re a fit!