NOBODY KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING

I recently came to an important conclusion: no one knows what they’re doing.

This is oddly comforting to me.

We’re all scared and uncertain, wandering through the dark hallway of life with our arms out in front of us, feeling our way blindly...even the most seemingly confident and together people:

*Founders I know or work with doubt themselves, pivot, or move too slowly, preoccupied with doing things right (and not sure what that even means).

*Previously married friends are getting divorced and starting the process of navigating life alone (for now).

*Single friends are continuing on the process of navigating life alone (for now) while contemplating parenthood (alone, or not).

*People are starting new jobs, new companies, new lives in an uncertain economy, and in an uncertain world.

...Everyone I know wakes up one night or another at 3 a.m., staring at the ceiling, unable to fall back asleep, stomach roiling over one thing or another.

Me too.

I’ve come so far and learned so much about myself and the world around me, but still at times find myself spiraling down into a sinkhole of fear, doubt, and dread.

The Covid-19 outbreak has me thinking about all sorts of what ifs: what if I can’t train clients, what if this becomes a real disaster, how will I survive, what will happen, how come I don’t have a partner or boyfriend to take care of me, what if, what if, what if.

But then, writing this, here at my desk, in this small moment, I remind myself that all is well and all will continue to be well. I’ve learned that.

But doubt might just creep back in--it tends to do that, because life is often scary and uncertain. And when it does, I turn to my community.

When I talk about female empowerment, I talk first about the empowerment of individual women, but far more importantly, when those women come together into empowered communities, true magic--and manifestation--happens.

Particularly during the darker moments, community is pivotal.

It does two things, especially for women: 1- it shows me I am not alone in my fears and insecurities; and 2-it bolsters me when I am feeling those things.

Empowered communities don’t just happen, by the way. There’s an element of work--doing the work on oneself to be able to embrace and be embraced by the community, and even more importantly, doing the work in the community. Nurturing and adding more fuel to it.

It took me a while to figure this out. I’ve always been a bit of a solipsistic (maybe selfish at times) person. It’s only been in recent years that I consciously dedicated myself to my community(s) of friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances, and really showing up for them, imperfectly, sure, but to the best of my abilities in the moment.

Communities don’t exist in a vacuum. But where they do exist, especially when they’re filled with powerful, vulnerable women, the investment compounds, and we all reap the rewards.